


Tadhana

by chuwaeyo



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: (aka not really), Alcohol, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Romance, bucky is a wingman (kind of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 18:30:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18078755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuwaeyo/pseuds/chuwaeyo
Summary: Pairing: May Parker x ReaderAnon Req: may parker imagine where the reader is an avenger with a dangerous power and a dark past, so she thinks may is too pure for her and tries to stay away but may knows what she’s doing and tells her she wants to be with her anyway? (pining may would be v appreciated)





	Tadhana

**Author's Note:**

> tadhana roughly means fate/destiny in tagalog, hope y’all like it! Lmk what you think down below and uhh thanks for sticking around! Hope you’re having a swell day :’) I’ll try to finish other reqs this week also!

****Breaking your usual routine of enjoying the silence and calm atmosphere of the Compound after a mission, Bucky began to shift in his spot on the other end of the couch, clearing his throat with a single cough before turning to look at you, “so…Parker’s aunt?”

“You mean May?” You quirked an eyebrow at the question and looked up  at Bucky for a split second to see him nodding a confirmation before returning to the book in your hands, “what about her?”

“Oh I don’t know…what do you think about her?” A gut feeling told you something was off with your friend, an awkward sniffle further proving your point before he continued speaking, “You’ve chaperoned Parker enough to have a real opinion about her, the kid’s wild.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you answered his weird inquiries about May, “she’s nice enough, definitely too good for the shitty world we work in, and Peter’s a good kid - you’d know that if you and Sam stopped teasing him for two seconds.”

He made a noise of disbelief before shrugging, light noises coming from the mechanisms in his arm adjusting to their new position, “that all you think about her?”

“Why does it matter what I think about her?” Giving up on getting any further in your book, you shut it and turned to face Bucky, who had been watching you with careful eyes, “got a crush, Barnes? Looking for my blessing? I don’t know if I should be touched or if I should run and tell Stevie.”

The accusation made him roll his eyes before throwing one of his boots at you, “the smile you had on your face the last time she came and picked up Pete, it’s a good look on you, just thought you should think about it, you know?”

“I think you might’ve spent too much time on the field earlier, Buck, you’re seeing things. There’s been too much fighting and war and bloodshed in my life for me to ever love someone like that.” You broke eye contact with him to focus on the sight of your hands instead, a small sigh escaping your lips, “I don’t know how you and Cap, or any of the others are able to do it, but that’s not for me. Not now, not ever.”

Beneath him, the couch squeaked as he jumped closer to you, wrapping a warm arm around your shoulder to pull you into a tight hug, “just think about it. You deserve so much love, soldiers like us, we think we don’t deserve good things after everything we’ve done, but (Y/N), you’re a good one.”

His touch was comforting and reassuring, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him that you already think about her every day

Every second, every minute, and every hour of each day.

Your thoughts always find its way back to her.

Even though every bone in your body knows that you were much too broken and monstrous for her - you still think about her smile and laugh, and the way your name sounds on her lips.

Even for all the destruction that follows you, she makes you feel like everything could be okay.

But you knew that could never happen.

You would never risk defiling such a pure and good life with your bloody hands and dark past.

One of you, on the other hand, would do it in a heartbeat.

May was no stranger to the heroes in her life putting on a tough act and pushing people away to try and keep them safe.

She always thought it was _“bullshit”._

Sure enough, whenever she caved in and visited the Compound to drink with your friends, May made sure to scold all of you - preaching almost, of how much all of you deserved love and happiness, no matter what your past put you through, her gaze and finger often wandering in your direction.

Whether you decided to drink with the others or just leave your room to get a glass of water, you were sure to be caught in the crossfire of her passionate (albeit drunken) speech.

“Y’know, for a big scary assassin or whatever you used to be, you’re an angel,” May would hone in on you like a hound on the scent of its latest target, a stern frown transforming into a soft smile as she looked at you, “who gave you permission to be such a sweetheart.”

“Miss Parker, I think you’ve had too much to drink,” hiding the small smile and blush from her and everyone else in the room, you lowered your head and let out a short chuckle, “I thought Peter was supposed to be watching how much you drank? He was telling me about an important farmers market you have to run to in the morning.”

Even though she was disappointed at your apparent lack of reaction, May refused to give up, well-versed in all the usual “superhero” tricks to hide how they truly felt, “farmers markets come and go every few weeks, but you? You’re a once in a lifetime opportunity? I lo -”

“FRIENDS! I’VE BROUGHT BRUNNHILDE AND MORE MEAD!” Thor’s voice boomed through the room as he crashed in through the balcony, (in)famous Valkyrie and box of mead in tow, and you’ve never felt happier for an interruption, quickly escaping to your room while everyone else was distracted by the happy arrival of more alcohol.

Your heart threatened to jump out of your chest from the words that were close to slipping past her lips as you slammed the door behind you, holding your face in your hands as you collapsed in onto your bed.

Your biggest fear since you first heard the whisperings of random civilians, strangers, commenting on you and your friends out in public, not about your achievements as a team, or the horrors hidden on your ledger, but your appearances.

_What they thought of you._

Heroic acts and monstrous attacks were forgotten.

The first time it happened, you couldn’t help but hide behind Tony and Steve, hoping that they would take the hint and get the others to leave at once or disperse the crowd.

But this? This was someone you genuinely cared about, and you couldn’t - wouldn’t - dare think of what you would do if you ever had to confront the feelings you tried so hard to push down.

The idea that someone could even think of loving you?

Someone like her?

After all the lives you ruined and destroyed?

How could she still  _dare_  to?

Your thoughts were interrupted by a slow knocking on your door, her voice just as low and scared as you were, “can I come in?”

“Always.” Your mouth moved without thinking, unconsciously letting down your walls as soon as you heard the hurt in her voice, even though every other sense in your body was screaming no.

May was always a sight for your sore eyes, immediately pushing yourself up to watch her as she let herself in, keeping her head low as she stopped at the foot of your bed. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I know you’re not a fan of opening up with other, and I just ran my mouth without thinking because I was so happy to see you after you’ve been hiding in here the whole time and I -”

Seeing her ramble like Peter always would whenever he was embarrassed made you forget all the bad thoughts that previously filled your mind, a soft smile finding its way to your face as you accepted that you could no longer run from your feelings.

That it was safe to really let people in.

“Look, May, you don’t have to explain yourself to me, I’m not the sweetest or most honest person here, if anything, I should be apologizing for you, and all the others, for always pushing you away, for letting the past continue to haunt me, for always running away.” You mustered enough courage to stand up and wrap shaky arms around her, resting your head in the nook of her neck, “and god, am I tired of running.”

It took a few seconds for her to process what you had said, but when May finally wrapped her arms around you and let out a happy laugh, you were sure that angels were real, and that you were lucky enough to be holding one.

“You do kind of deserve it for being cold to me sometimes, you know that right?” May pulled away from the embrace just enough so you could see her smirking, “I’ll be expecting some kind of compensation for all the heartbreak you’ve done to me, making me wait and chase after you all this time.”

You rolled your eyes and let out a short laugh before pressing a quick kiss to her forehead and winking, “this job doesn’t pay well, but I’m sure I can think of other ways to make it up to you.”


End file.
